Winning.

OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS.

Here. Look at these numbers:

Stats as of 12:25 pm on Feb. 14th-- at time of posting, views for Feb. 14th exceeded 300.

What is going on? I don't even know how to comprehend these numbers. See, every time I post something (and subsequently share it on Facebook), I have this semi-rational fear that people will essentially react like this:

But so far, no one has, and I am grateful for that. People have even told me that they like my blog and that they read my blog. On the outside, I'm usually all like

Play it cool,  play it cool.

but on the inside, I'm like

I win the internet. 

The point here is thanks for not thinking that I suck. It's really sweet. I'll do my best to continue not sucking.

I also wanted to take a little time and talk about why I blog, because I know some of you stay up late pondering that question. Rest ye your weary minds.

I like to write. Before I started blogging (and after, sometimes), I spent a lot of time scribbling in a notebook, writing things that I thought were hilarious/witty/insightful/woefully self-indulgent. I kept them to myself, because I am secretly very shy.

Over time, I accumulated 50-ish of these passages. Some were short (less than one college-ruled page) and some (mainly the woefully self-indulgent ones) were more than 5 pages long. They were poems, song lyrics, stories, anecdotes, rants, rambles, complaints... some were even peppered with stick figures and took a comic format. Sometimes I go back and read them and I'm mildly horrified at what I thought was so amazing three years ago.

Anyway, I had pretty much decided that I liked to write, but that I never planned on writing in any public setting... until I found myself in a Creative Writing class durring my senior year of high school. My senior year was... hard to say the least. I found myself looking forward to CW everyday because I had a chance to just let go for 40 minutes and write whatever I wanted. It was pure therapy. My teacher was amazing, too, and managed to coax me into sharing some of my writing with the class.

I gradually got more comfortable with the idea that I have things to say and people will read them. I shared with the class, then with then-boyfriend, A, then with my dad, a few friends... and finally, I started blogging.

It was terrifying at first. After my first post went "live," I spent the evening constantly refreshing my stats page. Every single pageview was mind-wrackingly intimidating. I think I got 43 pageviews that whole week, which averages about 10 views for each of the four posts that went live that week.

Anyway, time went on, and less than a year later, new posts on The Epitome of Snark average 40-60 pageviews within the first 24 hours of posting. There are undoubtedly those among you that are not impressed by that statistic, but it kind of blows my mind.

For the curious of heart, here is a list of the Top Five TEoS Posts to Date:

1. Because Life Can Suck- September 20th, 2012: This was actually the first post that went up.
2. My Friendship/Dating Application- December 31st, 2012: Apparently, a lot of people wanted to know the qualifications for dating/being friends with me. 
3. Enjoy the Ride- October 22nd, 2012: A post about my dear grandmother who passed away on the day Enjoy the Ride posted.
4. You're Doing It Wrong: Flirting- September 23rd, 2012: Comical observation about the boys I'd met at college up to that point.
5. Facebook Questions!- December 4th, 2013: Your questions, my responses. Boom.

That's all I've got for today. I hope you all survived Valentine's Day with only minor cuts and scrapes to your body/ego/world-view. Keep on keepin' on, my lovelies.

x,

   g

Glum-Be-Gone Part 2: Valentine's Day

Brag-y update on my life/blog/self-esteem in general: In the past 5 days, TEoS has gotten 300 pageviews. What?! Okay, that's probably not a ton, but my two-sizes-too-small heart grew one size today... All I can say is this.

Also, please check out the poll in the sidebar. It's the little icon with the graph? Yeah, that. I'll put polls up sometimes, when I feel like it. Boom. We get new features everyday. 

Well, kids, it's that time of year again! The time when lovers desperately dash from store to store seeking the perfect heart-shaped box of candy and single people become more terrified than usual that they will die alone.

Yeah, this year, I fall with the singles. For the first time since I've been of legitimate Mormon dating-age (16), I find myself without a boo.

"What?" you ask. "How could anyone as adorable and witty as you be alone for the greatest loveFest ever created?"

Or more accurately, "Is this going to be a long, bitter post about how a cranky single chick hates other people's happiness?"

Psh. No. *deletes everything previously written*

I haven't really liked Valentine's Day since I finished elementary school, where Valentine's Day was a celebration of friendship and sugar-highs, akin to Halloween. Even when I was not-so-single, it never struck me as being a great idea. Part of this is its propensity for overshadowing my birthday. That's not cool.

But mostly, I don't like how crazy everyone gets. If your entire relationship is dependent on having the perfect Valentine's date, is that really a relationship you want to be in? And if you're so "alone" in the world, why are you on the phone, complaining to your best friend about it? Doesn't having a best friend to talk to make you, by definition, not alone?

Anywho, that's just my two cents.

Now for the fun part. I've compiled some of my favorite love-related memes, written you a Valentine's Carol, and done some other cute stuff that will, I'm hoping, put a smile on your face, no matter your level of singleness this V-Day. Enjoy.

For Single People:

First of all, Valentine's Day can be amazing for single people. When else can you buy huge quantities of chocolate without getting a sympathetic look from the cashier? 

Replace "girls" with "guys" and you have my life story.
 

Amen to that.

Particularly funny to me because the number of times I've been told to "go out of my comfort zone" to "meet someone" in the last year is a triple-diget number.

This one made me legitimately sad.

For "Attached" People:

To the tune of Deck The Halls:
Deck the halls with creepy Cupids
(No no no no noooo no no no noo)
'Tis the season to act stupid
(Ha ha ha ha haaa ha ha ha haa)
Raise we now our expectations
(Want a ring? Take a ring! OBTAIN THE RING.)
Can you feel the desperation
(You will die alone, alone, a-loooooone)

 Disregard women, obtain yams. 

In Conclusion:

I made you a Valentine.*

Hope your V-Day is filled with candy, love, and unrealistically high expectations! 

See you on February 15th, when my characteristic wit and cynicism will no longer be regarded as a hatred for other people's happiness. 

Love you guys. 

Love,

     Grace

*Okay, yes, that is a One Direction poster in the background. No, it is not serious. Note the mustaches. It is also covered in lyrics from this song. Chill.

The Weight of Your Opinion

In January I decided to start going by my middle name, Grace, rather than my first name, Micaela. And, yes, a lot of people had a lot of opinions about my decision because people have opinions.

I was expecting some confusion when I decided to use my middle name in my everyday dealings. When I posted on Facebook about choosing to go by my middle name, the first comment was, "I like Micaela better."

I've dealt with this kind of thing before, mostly in the context of my love for changing my hair up dramatically and often. There were several occasions in high school where people I hardly knew took it upon themselves to inform me that they liked my hair better red, or it looked dumb short, or (after a particularly bad hair decision) that I looked like a boy.

When strangers or people I didn't know very well would inform me of my shortcomings, I took it to heart. A good friend noticed this and imparted some life-altering wisdom: These people didn't know me. They didn't know I was funny under pressure, or that I cried twice the first time I saw Tangled, or that I make a mean spaghetti sauce, or that I was an extremely loyal friend. They didn't know who I was as a person. Why was I letting the opinion of people who only knew me by my appearance have weight in my life?

There are people in this world whose opinions I care about and ask for frequently. I take what they say very seriously. Even when I don't ask, they are willing to take time out of their day to inform me that I'm being stupid, or that I need to change X aspect of my life. Their feedbacks is a valuable compass in my life, and I love them for caring about me so much.

So, back to my name change. When I first realized that not everyone was going to be on board with my decision, I was a little hurt. It never occurred to me that people would feel strongly enough about it to publicly share their opinion. I guess I figured it was a personal decision I got to make. I wasn't trying to change anyone else's name, after all. Just mine.

After stewing on my situation for a few minutes, I realized that I didn't need to let one person's opinion make me feel bad about a choice I'd made for myself. Heck, this person probably didn't even realize that their comment would hurt my feelings.

My point here is twofold:
1. Wield your opinion of people appropriately. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. Unless they ask you directly, in which case you can either white-lie or be tactfully honest.
2. Don't let other people's opinions dictate what you do in life. Know whose advice you value. Give yourself permission to disregard comments from people who don't have the authority to inform you of your issues.

Sorry if this is a bit disjointed. I'm tired. Better end now before it gets worse.

x,
   g