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Well, kids, it's that time of year again! The time when lovers desperately dash from store to store seeking the perfect heart-shaped box of candy and single people become more terrified than usual that they will die alone.
Yeah, this year, I fall with the singles. For the first time since I've been of legitimate Mormon dating-age (16), I find myself without a boo.
"What?" you ask. "How could anyone as adorable and witty as you be alone for the greatest loveFest ever created?"
Or more accurately, "Is this going to be a long, bitter post about how a cranky single chick hates other people's happiness?"
Psh. No. *deletes everything previously written*
I haven't really liked Valentine's Day since I finished elementary school, where Valentine's Day was a celebration of friendship and sugar-highs, akin to Halloween. Even when I was not-so-single, it never struck me as being a great idea. Part of this is its propensity for overshadowing my birthday. That's not cool.
But mostly, I don't like how crazy everyone gets. If your entire relationship is dependent on having the perfect Valentine's date, is that really a relationship you want to be in? And if you're so "alone" in the world, why are you on the phone, complaining to your best friend about it? Doesn't having a best friend to talk to make you, by definition, not alone?
Anywho, that's just my two cents.
Now for the fun part. I've compiled some of my favorite love-related memes, written you a Valentine's Carol, and done some other cute stuff that will, I'm hoping, put a smile on your face, no matter your level of singleness this V-Day. Enjoy.
For Single People:
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First of all, Valentine's Day can be amazing for single people. When else can you buy huge quantities of chocolate without getting a sympathetic look from the cashier?
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| Replace "girls" with "guys" and you have my life story. |
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| Amen to that. |
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| Particularly funny to me because the number of times I've been told to "go out of my comfort zone" to "meet someone" in the last year is a triple-diget number. |
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| This one made me legitimately sad. |
For "Attached" People:
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| To the tune of Deck The Halls: Deck the halls with creepy Cupids (No no no no noooo no no no noo) 'Tis the season to act stupid (Ha ha ha ha haaa ha ha ha haa) Raise we now our expectations (Want a ring? Take a ring! OBTAIN THE RING.) Can you feel the desperation (You will die alone, alone, a-loooooone) |
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| Disregard women, obtain yams. |
In Conclusion:
I made you a Valentine.*
Hope your V-Day is filled with candy, love, and unrealistically high expectations!
See you on February 15th, when my characteristic wit and cynicism will no longer be regarded as a hatred for other people's happiness.
Love you guys.
Love,
Grace
*Okay, yes, that is a One Direction poster in the background. No, it is not serious. Note the mustaches. It is also covered in lyrics from this song. Chill.
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