In January I decided to start going by my middle name, Grace, rather than my first name, Micaela. And, yes, a lot of people had a lot of opinions about my decision because people have opinions.
I was expecting some confusion when I decided to use my middle name in my everyday dealings. When I posted on Facebook about choosing to go by my middle name, the first comment was, "I like Micaela better."
I've dealt with this kind of thing before, mostly in the context of my love for changing my hair up dramatically and often. There were several occasions in high school where people I hardly knew took it upon themselves to inform me that they liked my hair better red, or it looked dumb short, or (after a particularly bad hair decision) that I looked like a boy.
When strangers or people I didn't know very well would inform me of my shortcomings, I took it to heart. A good friend noticed this and imparted some life-altering wisdom: These people didn't know me. They didn't know I was funny under pressure, or that I cried twice the first time I saw Tangled, or that I make a mean spaghetti sauce, or that I was an extremely loyal friend. They didn't know who I was as a person. Why was I letting the opinion of people who only knew me by my appearance have weight in my life?
There are people in this world whose opinions I care about and ask for frequently. I take what they say very seriously. Even when I don't ask, they are willing to take time out of their day to inform me that I'm being stupid, or that I need to change X aspect of my life. Their feedbacks is a valuable compass in my life, and I love them for caring about me so much.
So, back to my name change. When I first realized that not everyone was going to be on board with my decision, I was a little hurt. It never occurred to me that people would feel strongly enough about it to publicly share their opinion. I guess I figured it was a personal decision I got to make. I wasn't trying to change anyone else's name, after all. Just mine.
After stewing on my situation for a few minutes, I realized that I didn't need to let one person's opinion make me feel bad about a choice I'd made for myself. Heck, this person probably didn't even realize that their comment would hurt my feelings.
My point here is twofold:
1. Wield your opinion of people appropriately. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. Unless they ask you directly, in which case you can either white-lie or be tactfully honest.
2. Don't let other people's opinions dictate what you do in life. Know whose advice you value. Give yourself permission to disregard comments from people who don't have the authority to inform you of your issues.
Sorry if this is a bit disjointed. I'm tired. Better end now before it gets worse.
x,
g
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