Enjoy the Ride

This morning, my dear grandmother passed away. She battled cancer for 8 years, fighting the disease with more grace, bravery, and elegance than I ever thought possible. Everyone who knew her was blessed by her love.

Last week, she expressed her desire to live until Thanksgiving, but her rate of decline made it clear that she had days, not months, to live. So we gathered together to celebrate our own Thanksgiving. The meal was not traditional Thanksgiving fare-- We feasted on ham, toss salad, squash, scalloped potatoes, and two types of Jell-o salad. Everyone agreed that it was the best Thanksgiving meal they'd ever had.

After dinner, we gathered in Grandma's room. She had been bedridden for about a month, and unable to stay awake longer than a few minutes. We talked to her, and though she couldn't respond, I know she heard us. Her bedroom felt sacred. I felt the presence of angels in the room. She woke up to take a few bites, then fell back asleep.

Throughout the night, we all took turns sitting with her and holding her hand, having our private moments with Grandma. My dad, who was in Pennsylvania, talked to her on the phone. My cousins and I sang to her. Being there with her and my dear family was the most sacred experience I've ever had.

This morning, Grandma passed away. She was with my grandfather, her eternal companion. I got the call from my aunt at 9:28. Our family gathered once again to comfort each other and make some final arrangements. The love and support of family is a tender mercy of the Lord. Though this is a time of deep sadness, I can't help but thank God for all the many blessings He's given me and my family. It is beautiful and right that my dear grandmother's death should bring us all together.


Life is challenging and heart-breaking, but it is also sweet. In the turmoil of living, it's easy to forget that each person has the ability to create beauty in their own unique way. Our family, drawn closer by greif-- beauty, created from impossible circumstances.

I know I've said that the last two years have been tough, but they've also been filled with the most tender and radient experiences. The feeling you get when you find joy-- even briefly - in the midst of pain is the purest and most sacred feeling. Living, really living, isn't meant to be easy and smooth. It's meant to take you to the lowest of lows, so you can fully appreciate the soaring joys you're destined to experience.

Gordon B. Hinkley, former president of the LDS church, included the following quote in a devotiona he gave at BYU:

Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he's been robbed. The fact is that most putts don't drop. Most beef is tough...Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise...
Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.

And I do. Grandma, it was a blessing and a privilege to be your granddaughter. Thank you for your love of beauty, faith in God, and your always-inspiring example of what it means to be a strong, dedicated wife, mother, and grandmother. I miss you terribly, but I know you're no longer suffering, and that your parents and old friends are so excited to have you with them again. I'll see you in about 80 yeas. I love you.

Grandma, Dad, and Me

Here's to enjoying the ride, cinders, ashes, and all.

x,
   m

The Holy Ham-Grenade of Antioch (and also Mean Girls.)

If you met me at college, you have probably heard all about The Holy Ham-Grenade of Antioch. There was, in fact, a casual Facebook contest dedicated to naming my creation (shout-out to Mason, who came up with the title as it stands.). If you don't get the reference, I suggest you watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail immediately. It's the only movie I consider to be on-par with Mean Girls in terms of quotability. (Also, watch this. And this... hilarious.)

Okay, enough about my favorite movies. This is the part where I tell you what the heck a Holy Ham-Grenade actually is. It's a delicious creation that brings cheese, ham, and apricot jam together into a toasty, melty union. Most people don't quite understand how the jam could possibly be good, but I promise you... it's perfect.

I know you want one, so here's my official recipe:

The Holy Ham-Grenade of Antioch

• 2 Slices of White Bread
• 2 Slices of Cheddar Cheese
• 2 Slices of Ham
• 1 Generous Spoonful of [hopefully homemade] Apricot Jam (do not use other jams.)
• Butter
• A Frying Pan
• A Vast Love for Delicious Things

1. Heat the frying pan with some butter in it. Be reasonable in the amount of butter you use. You want a nice toasty sandwich, not a deep-fried mess. 

2. While the butter is melting, assemble the Ham-Grenade. Building from the bottom-up, it goes like this: bread, cheese, ham, jam, ham cheese, bread. 

3. Place your Ham-Grenade in the frying pan. Toast at medium heat, just like you're making a grilled cheese. Make sure both the cheese and the jam get melt-y and delicious. You're obviously going to need to flip it... I advise you implement your common sense when deciding how/when to do that. 

4. When toasted to perfection, remove to a plate. Cut your Ham-Grenade diagonally before partaking. 

5. Partake. 

You guys, I am so proud of this sandwich. Here is a picture of me eating it:

As you can see, anyone eating a Holy Ham-Grenade is vastly more attractive than anyone not eating one. HHG have also been know to raise student GPA's by .67 and raise student date-ablity by approximately 37.2%*.

Anyway, hope everyone's having a fantastic Wednesday.

x,
   m


*These results have not been tested or proven by anyone at all.